Sunday, 28 September 2025

A parade and back story...

Let me tell you a tale about things that never happened in a land that never existed except in the imaginations of its creator* and chronicler.....

*Frank Chadwick

Sitting comfortably?  Then I'll begin....

The Earl sat on his horse, his face as red as the hands of the men who marched before him. Nearby, Kapitan Pfau, the quartermaster also with red face; the Earl's face was red with anger, the Kapitan's with embarrassment.

The Earl sighed inwardly to himself through his fury; how had it come to pass that he now sat and watched a parade that was a source of shame and anger? He cast his mind back.....(picture dissolves in one of those wibby wobbly ways that denotes going back in time...)

It was his uncle/brother-in-law* who had started it all - they were discussing the future and Uncle Augustus had told him "I tell you Gottleib, I've had it from Father Taufers that all the Kingdoms are mobilising! You need to expand your army or those Bravancian bastards will gobble you up like those cakes you so like!". The Earl winced at this, as a staunch member of the Bravancian faction it was one of the few areas he and uncle disagreed upon, uncle being firmly in the Hrvatskan camp.

* The Landgraf of Sinistria - his sister was the Earl's mother and they are married to twin sisters from an Hrvatskan dynasty - relations are complicated in my Solder King!

So, armed with this knowledge, he had decided to expand his tiny army to the maximum establishment. Money was tight. He wanted his men to wear the Ducal colours of red and white, but sadly there was only enough cloth for the Guards and drummers. He instructed the new quartermaster to procure red cloth, but to be wary of paying too much.....

Kapitan Pfau, flushed with embarrassment, cast his mind back - what had gone wrong? There he was, a draper, desperate to escape the clutches of the old widow at Langsammer Kamm, always wittering on about her cat......join the army he thought.....of course once they found out about his previous profession he had been promoted and told to find cloth for the whole army! And they had found him, those Traber brothers, with their offer of "genuine Hrvatskan army red cloth" - he should have known the price was too good to be true! Of course it had been rejected by the Hrvatskans as it was not colour fast.....

And so, the first parade of the new army, a sudden shower and the red uniforms began to run and fade, dying the white small clothes and leaving the men with red hands. Only the Guards had escaped to some extent, their uniforms being old stock, with facings made from the new cloth....

As the Earl sat and ruminated, he was disturbed by a sudden commotion as his daughter Countess Ursula galloped up on her white horse. "Oh father! How clever of you!" she trilled. "Clever...?" the Earl stuttered - "I'm not sure I understand my dear" "Oh father....there's no need to play games: I know you've done it for my birthday!" she replied. "But my dear, your birthday is weeks away!" he managed before in a flurry of squeals she was past him firing back "but you must let me name them! Perhaps after your favourite cakes!" And then she was gone, heading conspicuously towards a group of young cavalry officers....

The Earl sighed again; well at least he had made his daughter happy, although he dreaded what she would call his regiments.... just then an old grizzled Grenadier marched past "Never fear your highness! he said "we shall dye them red in the blood of your enemies!. For the first time that day, the Earl smiled.

Kapitan Pfau silently let out a sigh of relief, having watched the exchanges. It seemed that he may be off the hook, unless of course Countess Ursula found out he was somehow behind it...he blanched and gulped nervously fully aware of the rumours and her reputation. Perhaps being a draper was not so bad after all he thought....

Of course all this may be true or not......

Those of a certain age, armed with a German dictionary, may be able to see references to certain British comedies - any co-incidence is purely intentional....😐

And now the parade...

The Earl


Countess Ursula


The Battenburg Cuirassiers


The Frangipani Hussars


The commanders Von Esse and Von Belovar


The Dampfnudel Guards


Sachertorte and Bratapfel Regiments


Schwartzwald-Kirsch and Kugelhopf Regiments


Tollatsch Light Infantry


Artillery


The army of Dupanen arrayed


A Dupanen eagle's view



22 comments:

  1. Exceedingly nice Neil, particularly the Battenburgers.

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    1. I just saw what you did there! I should have got a "Kipling" reference in there somewhere!
      Neil

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    2. Mr Kipling should perhaps appear as an adviser to the Earl from a Major Power...

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  2. Thanks Jason. It was the discovery / rediscovery that the Bavarian army had a real unit of Hussars under Col Frangipani that triggered the cake theme.....☺
    Neil

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  3. Oh, this is a most excellent parade, Neil! The colors are really quite striking.

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  4. Thanks Jonathan. I think the original plan was for a more muted pink but if you're going to paint something pink.....☺
    Neil

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    1. Let’s call it “fuschia” like the sensible Prussians did.

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    2. Jon, I think it's more "flamingo" than fuschia! ☺
      Neil

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  5. A great read, good to have the back story, the parade is most impressive, lovely to see the troops on show.

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  6. Thanks Donnie. The backstory has been in my head for a while. Not strictly necessary, but felt the need to get it down somewhere!
    Neil

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  7. A very colourful parade. I was trying to work out which figure the light infantry were originally.

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    1. Thanks Peter. It's from the limited Napoleonic range and I think it's supposed to be British. It comes with a shako and backpack which were cut down / removed. The musket is a little short which made me wonder if it's supposed to be a Rifleman - except it seems to have a bayonet.
      Neil

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  8. "Are you all sitting comfortabold two-square on your botty? ... Then I'll begin." 'Professor' Unwin on the Small Faces album 'Ogden's Nut Gone Flake'.

    Your beginning reminded me if this. Perhaps such was your intent?

    I do like your armies - real wargamery armies, the best kind.

    Speaking of note taking, I'm much the same, but the paper I scribble on is mostly NOT the paper in the several notebooks and exercise books I have in my possession. Pity, because, as you observe, stuff gets lost and I have to 're-invent the wheel', and think on the axle to go with it.
    Cheers,
    Ion

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  9. Thanks Ion, not my intent, it's an old phrase in the UK from "listen with mother" I believe - although much too young myself, it's entered the national consciousness.....
    Thank you for the compliment on the armies; they were designed to look as "toy soldierly" as possible! The SSM are so minimal on detail, you have to work at making them "pop"!
    Don't let the apparently orderly notebooks fool you!
    I also have a folder full of bits of paper! The books were a way of keeping things together. I've managed to transfer family trees and characteristics to a gazetteer of the different states so it's in one place.
    Neil

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  10. Quite impressive parade and clever background story. Soldier King has provided a great background for you to produce your campaign of the mind. Thanks for some fun on a Sunday read.

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  11. Thanks Joe. I was very influenced by Tony Bath and his Hyboria and setting up a wargames campaign.
    The Soldier King game meant the map, resources, locations and geography were already mapped. I just had to populate it!
    Neil

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  12. What a delightful back story and lovely figures. I am sure Countess Ursulanis very pleased. Funnily enough of my pals has a Napoleonic Regiment of "Battenburgers" as a French minor ally, proud in yellow and pink.

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  13. Thanks Martin. I think Phil Olley had a "Battenburg" foot regiment at one time - they obviously get around!
    Neil

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  14. Very nice uniforms! distinctive. 😁

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  15. Thanks Stew. That's one way to describe them! ☺
    Neil

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  16. Top stuff Neil …
    An excellent parade…
    What’s not to like about Rose/Pink /Fuchsia uniforms…

    All the best. Aly

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  17. Thanks Aly. It was a different painting experience....☺
    Neil

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A parade and back story...

Let me tell you a tale about things that never happened in a land that never existed except in the imaginations of its creator* and chronicl...