Let me tell you a tale about things that never happened in a land that never existed except in the imaginations of its creator* and chronicler.....
*Frank Chadwick
Sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin....
The Earl sat on his horse, his face as red as the hands of the men who marched before him. Nearby, Kapitan Pfau, the quartermaster also with red face; the Earl's face was red with anger, the Kapitan's with embarrassment.
The Earl sighed inwardly to himself through his fury; how had it come to pass that he now sat and watched a parade that was a source of shame and anger? He cast his mind back.....(picture dissolves in one of those wibby wobbly ways that denotes going back in time...)
It was his uncle/brother-in-law* who had started it all - they were discussing the future and Uncle Augustus had told him "I tell you Gottleib, I've had it from Father Taufers that all the Kingdoms are mobilising! You need to expand your army or those Bravancian bastards will gobble you up like those cakes you so like!". The Earl winced at this, as a staunch member of the Bravancian faction it was one of the few areas he and uncle disagreed upon, uncle being firmly in the Hrvatskan camp.
* The Landgraf of Sinistria - his sister was the Earl's mother and they are married to twin sisters from an Hrvatskan dynasty - relations are complicated in my Solder King!
So, armed with this knowledge, he had decided to expand his tiny army to the maximum establishment. Money was tight. He wanted his men to wear the Ducal colours of red and white, but sadly there was only enough cloth for the Guards and drummers. He instructed the new quartermaster to procure red cloth, but to be wary of paying too much.....
Kapitan Pfau, flushed with embarrassment, cast his mind back - what had gone wrong? There he was, a draper, desperate to escape the clutches of the old widow at Langsammer Kamm, always wittering on about her cat......join the army he thought.....of course once they found out about his previous profession he had been promoted and told to find cloth for the whole army! And they had found him, those Traber brothers, with their offer of "genuine Hrvatskan army red cloth" - he should have known the price was too good to be true! Of course it had been rejected by the Hrvatskans as it was not colour fast.....
And so, the first parade of the new army, a sudden shower and the red uniforms began to run and fade, dying the white small clothes and leaving the men with red hands. Only the Guards had escaped to some extent, their uniforms being old stock, with facings made from the new cloth....
As the Earl sat and ruminated, he was disturbed by a sudden commotion as his daughter Countess Ursula galloped up on her white horse. "Oh father! How clever of you!" she trilled. "Clever...?" the Earl stuttered - "I'm not sure I understand my dear" "Oh father....there's no need to play games: I know you've done it for my birthday!" she replied. "But my dear, your birthday is weeks away!" he managed before in a flurry of squeals she was past him firing back "but you must let me name them! Perhaps after your favourite cakes!" And then she was gone, heading conspicuously towards a group of young cavalry officers....
The Earl sighed again; well at least he had made his daughter happy, although he dreaded what she would call his regiments.... just then an old grizzled Grenadier marched past "Never fear your highness! he said "we shall dye them red in the blood of your enemies!. For the first time that day, the Earl smiled.
Kapitan Pfau silently let out a sigh of relief, having watched the exchanges. It seemed that he may be off the hook, unless of course Countess Ursula found out he was somehow behind it...he blanched and gulped nervously fully aware of the rumours and her reputation. Perhaps being a draper was not so bad after all he thought....
Of course all this may be true or not......
Those of a certain age, armed with a German dictionary, may be able to see references to certain British comedies - any co-incidence is purely intentional....😐
And now the parade...
The Earl
Countess Ursula
The Battenburg Cuirassiers
The Frangipani Hussars
The commanders Von Esse and Von Belovar
The Dampfnudel Guards
Sachertorte and Bratapfel Regiments
Schwartzwald-Kirsch and Kugelhopf Regiments
Tollatsch Light Infantry
Artillery
The army of Dupanen arrayed
A Dupanen eagle's view
